Which Brick You Are Installing In Your Child’s Foundation?


Parenting is a most powerful and deciding factor of your child’s character, mentality, behavior and actions towards the life, people, universe and circumstances. It is taking care of a child from his birth to maturity. It is a truth that parents can’t write their children future but they can set its foundation. You can easily develop a child at the place of modifying an adult. A child learns lots of new things such as fashion, games, knowledge from his school, friends, society and books. But his characteristic features like how to deal, act , behave, think, his morals, manners etc. are based on his parents, family background, and upbringing. Most of the cases parents are the mother & father, but in some cases it can be an elder sibling, a caretaker, or relative.

In all cases, being a parent is a very tough job, full of responsibility, care, awareness and sacrifices. For every child his parents are his ideal and the best persons of the world as he closely observe them and they are always right for him. He always try to be like them. So its your duty to maintain the discipline in your activities in front of your child, which has a direct effect on upbringing of your child. Every parent has the same goal ,” the best for their children”, but the way of treatment are different. Sometimes parents teaches the right lesson to their child but they select the wrong examples or wording. Such as all-time proving self parents wrong in front of their grandchildren like we awakes whole night in your sickness, your grand father even didn’t allow us to take proper rest. Some insults their wife and others like, Your mother has no sense of dressing. Mayank’ s father is selfish, he dose not love him.

At the place of degrading someone always show them the positive side of each and everyone’s situation. Tell them every parent provide the best facilities to his children according to their conditions and abilities. Teach them the equal importance of each family member Whether he is earning father or housewife mother, or the old grandparents. Teach them the importance of being self dependent for their regular activities. Don’t show the different behavior for girl and boy child. Remember, this is the actual platform where your boy is learning the value of a girl and respecting her and your girl is learning how much she can expect from a boy. Difference starts from the home.

Teach your children the value of hard work and education. Educate them for making responsible citizen at the place of money making machine. At the place of promoting them with your power and approach teach them to pass the exams with their hard work and knowledge. Don’t forget that you have such position due to your hard work. So don’t parallelize your child’s mental strength under the influence of your approach and power. Make them creative and productive.

Corruption also starts from the home. People used to take work from their children by paying some sweets and toys to them in return. “Give me one glass of water, I will give you a chocolate”. Don’t tell it to your father, I ‘ll buy a toy for you”. Sometime blackmails them,” If you will do this, I’ll complain your class teacher”, sometimes threaten them,” next time you will touch my laptop, I’will break your hands down”. In response, your child is habitual of such kind give and take. Now its his time and he will say first give me a bike, then I’ll do that particular thing. Don’t make your child a greedy, selfish, corrupt person. Don’t teach him the way of blackmailing and threatening you for his advantages.

Trust your child. Teach him the value of money and its saving. Give him some responsibilities according to his rising age. Appreciate his good works. Don’t insult him in front of others. Give him a little care and time. Nourish your child with morals not with luxury. Don’t predict negative future about him.” As I can see you will not serve us in our old age.” “You will become the slave of your wife”. Such wordings does not make a good impact on other person. Don’t spoil the relations with your tongue.

Don’t Force your thoughts and dreams on your child. Give the wings to his dreams and strength them by motivating him for achieving the goals. It is good to teach him your learnings but allow him to create his learnings with his own experiences. Try to maintain a good communicational relationship. Listen to him. Value his opinion. Respect his personal space. Be a friend to him and he will never hide anything from you. Give him the conclusion of his all confusions.

Sacrifice the habits you don’t want your child to adopt. Leave the habit of chewing tobacco , drinking alcohol, smoking etc. You can not stop your child of doing so, if you use to do the same things. Don’t use mobile and watch the television if you are not in favor of your child to do so.

Adopt a little change to deal with the modern generation. What you will give them today will get back to you tomorrow. Nothing will go with us at the end of life but make sure to left a wise and self dependent generation behind us. And our morals will always be there in the form of that implementing brick.

Things Which are Free of Cost to Distribute

In this Selfish world Everything has a price to be paid. Nothing is free. We persons are too money minded that we cannot give a single thing in free to others. We are always in the chance to grab others opportunities. Thinking of people is so down market that they feel time waste in helping others and giving money to others is a very tough job for them as love for money is dominating their humanity.

But behind this cunning nature, there are so many reasons. The most important of them is the unfaithful and thankless behavior of people. When someone needs money ,it comes to you with a puppy face but when the time comes to return it back, he becomes more advocative. It becomes an impossible task to get your own money back from him. Another reason is the want for the return of favor, selfish and greedy nature of the people. Due to these the real needy and actually deserving candidates didn’t get help at the right time.

Well it is your money, you have earned it with your hard work and skills. So its your choice only to help someone with money or the things purchased by your money. But here I am not talking about money or luxury. Here I am talking about some Priceless – costly things, that means the things which has no price but more value. There are so many things you can distribute among people at free of cost.

1.. Positive Vibes :- These are the vibrations or the kind of energy a person feels, when you are around him. It is the impact of your presence on someone’s mind. Now the question is how can you give the positive vibes to others? Answer is very simple, just give a sweet smile. use some sweet words, show positive attitude in every situation. Respect the individuality of others. Win their trust.

2.. A Helping Hand :- Help the people who need it. Share your food at the place of wasting it. Help in crossing the road to the children,  senior citizens, handicaps and animals also. Try to provide first aid or send him to the hospital if someone met with an accident. Don’t make videos and pictures but make some efforts to save a life. Leave your seat and let that senior citizen or pregnant woman or that sick person to sit there. at the place of laughing on a felling person , give him your helping hand and raise him up. Above same things are applicable on animals, birds and plants also. Put some grain seeds on the open area near your home for feeding hungry birds. Avail some water for thirsty animals as they have no water supply from government.

3.. Moral Support :- It means, if someone is in grief, console him, if he is sad , try to please him, if he is desperate, motivate him, If he is doing some good or making some efforts, appreciate him, If he fails, buck him up for trying again, If he is hopeless, give him some positive thoughts in each process always give a hope for the best and encourage him with lots of good examples. If someone has no idea of life or he is distracted from his way, give him guidance. Help him in finding out his strengths and influence him for giving the best out of him.

4.. Little Charity :- Charity does not only means to give some money or blankets to any social organization, but you can distribute your old furniture, clothes, crockery, gadgets etc. if they are in good condition and you are going to update them. You can give your old books to the poor students of your school after passing your current class. You also can give your uniform if it is not meaningful for you after leaving that particular school. At the place of throwing or burning the things which are in good condition, you can help some needy whom these are more valuable.

5.. Your Time :- Time is a precious thing to give someone in this busy scheduled life. If your one second can save someones life or give him the right direction, please give it to him. And finally when you will count these seconds, you would actually be calculating the best moments of your life.

6.. Freedom :- It has a broad meaning but here I will only discuss about someones personal space. Don’t put your nose everywhere. Whatever is someone doing until it is against humanity or illegal, don’t interrupt them. In democracy everyone has right to think, act and behave with his own choice. Don,t disturb or trouble any animal, bird or plant just for your fun. Don’t pluck the leaves and flowers for no reason. Freedom is one of my favorite issues. I will discuss it in my another blog in detail.

Beside these you can save water, electricity, fuel and other resources and can reduce the trouble of our next generation, Do more plantation and give oxygen to the environment. Keep your environment clean and maintain hygienic atmosphere and prevent the diseases.

If you will distribute above things among humans and animals , I promise you will never return with an empty hand. You will always get a happy heart and satisfied mind by yourself and lots of prayers and well wishers with lots of good luck. Implement this kind of giving nature in your attitude and be the best version mankind yourself.

Win Your Anger

Don’t let your anger win

“Anger is a feeling, that makes your mouth work faster than your mind”

Anger is a strong emotion of living beings, which leads from normal
irritations to the furious rage. —It is that state of mind , which make your actions more destructive , Negative , senseless and harmful. —It is an automatic emotion which arises in response to a pain, failure, loss, grief, violence etc. It is both automatic and sometimes applied by others. It may be the reaction of some instant happenings or the result of a long time depression and failure.

Win Your Anger

   There can be so many reasons for a person being angry. Some of them are genetic, some are the results of past bad experiences, some are based on present poor conditions and other are the responses of the activities happened against our expectations. In today’s multitasking life, where every task has a limited period of time to be accomplished, a little mistake or delay can set the fire of your anger. Example: you are waiting for the flight and it delays by one hour.

   Sometime the restlessness of your body can make you angry. When you are ill or suffering from a long term disease, it can cause helplessness and the responsive emotion comes out as anger. Short amount of anger is good for health and mental peace as it has no bad effect on your heart and body. it releases your stress. Expressing anger against any violence and wrong behavior can be beneficial for not being happened it again. Anger is good until it is not harmful for you and others. When it goes out of control it may cause serious problems like breakups in relationships, defame your social prestige, create mental and physical illness. When you become angry your heartbeat rate and blood pressure goes higher than its normal rate.

How to deal with your anger : – It is very important to convert your energy in a positive and constructive manner. Don’t waste your energy against you. Give it a correct direction to make it productive. there are so many ways to win your anger. First of all teach your mind that anger is actually not a good thing for your growth and success as well as for your professional and personal life. Try to find out the reason behind your anger and try to resolve them at the place of blaming others, yourself and the destiny. Don’t let the words never, only me, impossible to command your mind. Replace them with next time, just a coincidence ,will not happen again etc.

“Anger is a friend of your enemies, which helps them in defeating you. To win your enemy Defeat your anger.”

Leave the place as soon as possible. When some incident is making you unhappy and or anyone is irritating you then leave that place as soon as possible. It will be helpful to lower the intensity of your anger. Go to a lonely place and take a deep breath. Repeat the process with saying yah Its okay, I will manage, I am Okey, I am Fine. This therapy is very useful practically.

Distract your mind from the current situation. Try to think about something that makes you happier. Use your imagination power to think some funny and relaxing. Try to memorize some jokes and humor to laugh. Laugh loudly. You also can listen some music. Music is super fast mood changer. or you can engage yourself in some other activities like, walking, driving, shopping, etc. Distracting your mind can help you to forget the bad situation and can calm down your mind.

“Explain your anger instead of expressing, and you will find the solutions not arguments.” It means go in deep with the reasons behind your anger. Don’t speak bad words and language when you are angry or don’t raise your hands upon someone.

“It is wise to direct your anger towards problems not people; to focus your energies on answers not excuses.”

Learn to forgive at the place of taking revenge. Feeling of taking revenge can do the situation more worse. Try to forget the things and forgive the people. Also use some apologizing words if you hurts someone in your anger.

Do some meditation to relax your mind. If needed or you think it is uncontrollable your anger contact with a psychiatrist. Observe the aggression and violence in your behavior under anger. If it is not acceptable consult with a counselor.

Share your emotions with your family or friends. Blocking your anger in your mind can be dangerous for your health and mind. So don’t store your emotions within you. Share them with your closed ones, it will be helpful to find out some solutions and mental support.

Its very important to deal your anger in a positive way so its output will become beneficiary for you. By following above ideas you might be able to win your anger during a certain time period.

Observation, The Key To Wisdom

“Don’t just look ,Observe! Don’t just swallow, Taste! Don’t just sleep, Dream! Don’t just think, Feel! Don’t Just exist, Live.”

Wisdom is the quality of using your all senses and abilities to make a sensible judgment. It is the ability of human brain, used in analyzing, categorizing and synchronizing the things to make a valuable decision . Wisdom is not God gifted but it can be build and improved by enhancing our observational power. There is always a conclusion, moral and inspiration in every observation which enables our brain to get the facts and stay calm.

“Quite people have the loudest minds.” STEPHEN HAWKING

Many of us or I can say almost all of us just see the things and avoid to go in the detailing of these happenings as we have an excuse that we have no time in this ever running life-style. luckily, I am a good Observer. In my opinion it doesn’t take much time in observation, when you have a good presence of mind, when you speak less but sees more. Be quiet but not blind. Teach your eyes to hear first only then they can see the real truth. I like to find out the logics behind any incident not reasons for that. I enjoy the detailed studying and deep traveling of the things. Sometimes people laugh at me that how deeply I examine the things, but I don’t care as I am a self aware person. Since I am quite but that does not mean I am guilty or I can’t see the truth, it only means that I am closely observing you, your expressions , your words and your acts . Yes we can not focus on many things once but we can observe many aspects of a single thing at once.

“I sit back & observe every person in my life whether we talk everyday or not. I know who motivates me & keeps it 100. I also know who talks about me & smiles in my face. I know who i can trust & who i need to keep a distance with.Whether I say anything & let you be fake, I know.”

There is a difference between looking and observing. In Looking we just see the things for a small intent but in observing we keep our scene in our memory for later thinking and deducing it into a meaningful conclusion.

How we can be a good observer?

Go in detail with your surroundings. Notice the each and every change in behavior and nature of the people, animals, birds, plants, weather etc. in your surroundings. For example notice the regular way of your office , which kind of trees are there , changes in the boardings, changes in the display of any particular departmental store. See the plantation in front of your office building, note their type, their flowering time etc. Note the dress up and behavior of your colleagues. notice their expressions whether they match with their wordings?

“I am very cautious of people whose actions don’t match their words.”

Create a link among what you see. Try to find out a connection between the things you notice before and make a decision. For example as you see a crying baby and some food item spread on the way and a dog near him. so you can get the conclusion that the child would be going with the food item and that dog started following him so he got afraid and his goods was fell down.

Be Neutral so you will never be partial. Being neutral means see the things with your point of view and consider them with fresh mind. Erase all old opinions of others regarding that particular subject. for example If we have an information that puppies of dogs bite then we can not observe them as we have a fear of being injured. So for getting out the actual truth always start with the zero.

“To observe and watch one’s own mind is something really interesting. The untrained mind will run and follow its old habit patterns. Because it has not been trained and taught,it will get lost in all kind of stories and issues. Therefore we have to train our mind. The meditation practice in Buddhism is is all about training its own mind.” – Ajahn Chah

Improve your memory. Memory can be improved by enhancing your concentration power. Do some Meditation to keep your mind calm so that you can more concentrate on the present situations. You can do some short exercises based on your presence of mind. Like when you are going outside of home try to remember that did you switch the lights off, turn the burner off, properly locked the door etc.

Remove your distractions. Distractions means the disturbing elements which are not good for your mindful observation. when you are traveling by bus or train, don’t use the headphones. Try to hear the conversation of the people, notice the difference in culture, outfits, language, of different people. Keep an active eye on the events happening around you. while watching a Movie or TV Show, don’t just watch it but try to get some learning out of it. Observe the themes and backgrounds. Costumes for different shots and props used for different songs. listen the song lyrics carefully and try to get their meaning. Think about the title if it justified the story. Try to figure out the motto of the director for that particular film or show.

Note down your all observational learnings on a notebook so you can maintain a record for future purpose. When you will become a good observer you will start enjoying all things and events around you. Try to visit some new places and make your participations in different events out of your comfort zone. Let your experience grow up. It will give you the new ways of exploring your life and the actual enjoyment of the life.

“Observation more than books and experience more than persons are the prime educators.”

Let me give you a practical example of my life. It was 2009-2010, when I and my some friends used to go BSIP Lucknow for our Summer Training during my Polytechnic studies. On the way we saw a boy around 14-15 years doing shoe polish. few minutes later an other boy of the same age came there. He put off his shirt and started shoe polishing with the first one. We all saw that and move ahead. But my mind was running as I observed both boys have same features means those were brothers. Second one was wearing a uniform of an public school, means he was just coming from his school. it was my conclusion. and here i got a learning too that is “How down to earth that boy was. He was not a bit ashamed on his profession as any known can see him there. He was laborious too.” There are so many observations of my daily life. But here my motive of telling this story is, that a small learning from your surroundings can motivate you for the biggest achievement of your life and is also helpful for keeping yourself more positive .

Millions of people saw the apple falling , but no one observed it before Newton. Be an observer to make great discoveries.

अपने मालिक स्वयं बनो

यदि  मैं तुम्हें  बता सकता कि तुम मुझे कितना शर्मिंदा महसूस कराते हो तो तुम कभी मेरी आंखों में देख नहीं पाते

सबसे अच्छी सीख, जो मुझे आज तक मिली  है वह यह है कि “ये तुम्हारी जिंदगी है, दूसरों के शब्दों में   मत  उलझो” l  हम में से अधिकांश दूसरों के शब्दों और व्यवहार से प्रभावित हो जाते हैं l   हम दूसरे लोगों के दृष्टिकोण और विचारों के अनुसार अपने  मूड को बदल लेते हैं l क्या अपने व्यवहार, मन की स्थिति, जीवन जीने का तरीका, सोचने की प्रक्रिया  एवं कार्य करने का तरीका सिर्फ इसलिए बदल लेना चाहिए, क्योंकि दूसरों को लगता है कि यह गलत है?  नहीं,  ऐसा करना उचित नहीं है l  हम अलग अलग व्यक्तित्व है l हमारे पास अपनी विभिन्न मन-स्थितियां,  सोच, मत, दृष्टिकोण, पसंद, नापसंद,  सपने, उद्देश्य,  विकल्प, महत्व, आदर्श और सिद्धांत है l

  कई बार  हमारे   करीबी लोग  हमारे प्रति आशा के विपरीत  व्यवहार व कार्य करते हैं l कभी कभी वह हमसे वह कार्य कराना चाहते हैं, जिसकी गवाही हमारी अंतरात्मा नहीं देती l  लेकिन फिर भी हम वह कार्य करते हैं क्योंकि हम सबको खुश रखना चाहते हैं l  हम नहीं चाहते कि किसी को बुरा लगे l हमें लगता है कि  यदि हम कार्य करने से इंकार कर देंगे तो यह हमारे अपनों  का अपमान होगा l

 वह कौन हैं : जिन्हें दूसरों के जीवन में हस्तक्षेप करने में मजा आता है l

 वह व्यक्ति जो स्वयं से संतुष्ट नहीं है, और अपनी तुलना दूसरों से करता है l वह व्यक्ति जो सोचता है, कि यदि उसके जीवन में कुछ अच्छा नहीं हो रहा है तो उसे दूसरों को परेशान करना चाहिए l जो दूसरों को तरक्की करते नहीं देख सकता l वह व्यक्ति जिसे अपनी काबिलियत और योग्यताओं पर भरोसा नहीं है और जिसके अंदर जीतने  का हौसला नहीं है l जो अपने समय, रिश्तों कार्यों और ज्ञान में तालमेल नहीं बैठा पाता तथा जिसे दिखावा पसंद है और जो बनावटी जिंदगी जीता है और  अस्थाई खुशियों की तलाश में रहता है l वह व्यक्ति जो हमेशा नकारात्मक सोच को बढ़ावा देता है और  जो खुद से अनजान है l

खुद को जाने :  स्वयं पर स्वामित्व पाने का यह पहला कदम है l  खुद को पहचाने, अपने अंदर झांके, अपने  सकारात्मक पहलू को समझें l  एक  पैन और पेपर लेकर एक शांत स्थान पर बैठ जाएं और अपनी रुचियों, भयों, भटकावों और योग्यताओं को ज्ञात करने की कोशिश करें एवम जो भी विचार आपके मस्तिष्क में दौड़ रहे हैं, उन्हें पेपर पर लिखते रहें l उसके बाद उन्हें पढ़कर यह जानने की कोशिश करें कि किस प्रकार, आप अपनी कमजोरियों को हराकर अपनी योग्यता को निखार सकते हैं l अपनी वास्तविक ख़ुशी का ज्ञान सिर्फ और सिर्फ हमें ही होता है l

खुद को बदलने  के स्थान पर  खुद में सुधार लाने का प्रयत्न करें l  कोई भी स्थिति तुरंत नहीं बदली जा सकती दृष्टिगत बदलाव आने में थोड़ा समय लगता है l अगर हम किसी भी परिस्थिति को अचानक बदलने की कोशिश करें तो इसमें तो इसमें अधिक  प्रयास की आवश्यकता होगी, साथ ही शारीरिक तथा मानसिक  हानि भी होगी परन्तु यदि हम, स्वयं में सुधार लाने का प्रयास करें तो इसमें थोड़ा समय लगेगा किंतु हम स्वयं को अधिक योग्य बना सकेंगे l एक नियमित और निरंतर सुधार बहुत सारे लाभों के साथ हमारे अंदर एक बड़ा बदलाव ला सकता है l इसे एक बहुत ही साधारण से उदाहरण के द्वारा समझेंगे एक व्यक्ति है जो अपने मोटापे से परेशान है और  वह अपना वजन कम करना चाहता है जिससे कि वो स्वस्थ रह सके और आकर्षक व्यक्तित्व प्राप्त कर सके l  अब यदि वह अचानक से जिम जाना शुरू कर दे और डाइट चार्ट के अनुसार खाना शुरू कर दे, तो यह निश्चित है कि बहुत जल्दी वह अपने वजन कम करने के प्लान को त्याग देगा l कोई भी व्यक्ति जिसे रात को देर से सोने की आदत है, सुबह जल्दी नहीं उठ सकता l यदि नींद पूरी नहीं होगी, तो स्वास्थ्य पर विपरीत प्रभाव पड़ेगा l अचानक से  अपनी नियमित खुराक से कम कैलोरी लेना शुरू कर दे तो उसे कमजोरी और  आलस्य का सामना करना करना पड़ेगा, लेकिन यदि प्रत्येक सप्ताह आधे घंटे का छोटा सा बदलाव अपने  सोने के और जागने के  समय में करे , तो निश्चित ही वह कुछ महीनों में, सही समय पर सोना व जागना शुरू कर देगा l ठीक उसी प्रकार भोजन की मात्रा कम करने के स्थान पर भोजन के प्रकार में बदलाव करें l अर्थात् अधिक जंक फ़ूड के स्थान पर हरी सब्जियों का जूस , फलों का जूस और सलाद अपनी नियमित भोजन प्रणाली में शामिल करें l अकस्मात् कम की गई कैलोरी की मात्र आपके स्वास्थ्य पर प्रतिकूल प्रभाव दाल सकती है किन्तु पौष्टिक भोजन आपको उचित पोषण प्रदान करता है l अधिक व्यायाम न करें बल्कि उसके स्थान पर अपने रोजमर्रा के कम अपने हाथों से करें और नजदीकी स्थानों पर छोटे मोटे कार्यों के लिए गाड़ी के स्थान पर पैदल जाना शुरू करें l इससे न सिर्फ आपका वजन कम होगा साथ ही आप अपनी नियमित दिनचर्या के कार्यों को भी अधिक कुशलता से संपन्न कर पाएंगे l

सबकी बात सुने, किन्तु व्यवहार अपने अनुसार करें  l एक अच्छा श्रोता होना बहुत अच्छी बात है, लेकिन दूसरों से एकदम प्रभावित न हो l सही और गलत के बीच भेद करने के लिए अपने मष्तिष्क के सभी भावों का प्रयोग करें l क्या हो रहा है और वास्तव में क्या होना चाहिए के मध्य के अंतर को समझें l प्रत्येक व्यक्ति के अपना जीवन जीने के कुछ उसूल व सिद्धांत होते हैं l ये उसूल और सिद्धांत ही उसके व्यवहार और निर्णय लेने की क्षमता को निर्धारित करते हैं l किसी भी दबाव, लालच एवम बहकावे में आकर अपने सिद्धांतों को छोड़ना नहीं चाहिए l

दूसरों को अपने जीवन में उनके शब्दों और विचारों के माध्यम से जहर मत घोलने दें l अपनी जीवन यात्रा की ख़ूबसूरती की सच्चाई के साथ मजबूती से खड़े रहें उन्हें किसी के वैध करार देने की आवश्यकता नहीं है  l

आत्मनिर्भर बनिए.. दूसरों पर आश्रित होने से आप उनकी इच्छानुसार  चलने के लिए बाध्य हो जाते हैं l अपने कार्यों को निर्धारित समय में स्वयं करने की कोशिश करें l दूसरों की बजाए स्वयं से उम्मीदें बढ़ाएं l यदि आप बिना अनुरोध के किसी की सहायता कर रहे हैं तो याद रखिये ये आपकी इच्छा है l इसके बदले में वह व्यक्ति भी आपके लिए पेबैक करने को मजबूर नहीं होगा l वह उसकी इच्छा पर निर्भर होगा. ठीक वैसे ही जैसे की आपके कार्यालय में आपके द्वारा निर्धारित समय से अधिक बिताया गया समय केवल तभी आपको ओवरटाइम का हकदार बनाएगा जब उसकी मांग कार्यालय के किसी  कार्य के संपादन के लिए हो और जिसके लिए आपके अधिकारी ने आदेश दिया हो, अन्यथा आप २४ घंटे वहाँ बैठे रहिये कोई मायने नहीं रखता l

दूसरों के मामलों में अनावश्यक हस्तक्षेप न करें. दूसरों पर शासन करने की कोशिश न करें l याद रखिये, आपके पास अधिकार जमाने के लिए आपका शरीर, शासन करने के लिए आपका मष्तिष्क , नियंत्रण करने के लिए आपकी जीभ एवं निर्धारण करने के लिए आपके कर्म हैं l

 “अपने व्यक्तित्व का सम्मान करें, और दूसरों के व्यक्तित्व का भी सम्मान करें , किसी के जीवन में हस्तक्षेप न करें और किसी को भी अपने जीवन में हस्तक्षेप करने की अनुमति न दें l केवल तभी आप एक दिन आध्यात्म को प्राप्त हो सकेंगे l ”                                                                       – ओशो

 अपनी वास्तविकता का त्याग किये बिना बदलावों को स्वीकार करें – नए प्रचलन को अवश्य अपनाये किन्तु अपना चलन बरकरार रखें. मैं तो यह कहूँगी की खुद ही प्रचलन बन जाएँ , जिसे लोग अपने चलन में लायें l दूसरों से अपने आचरण में केवल सकारात्मक विचारों को ग्रहण करें l

आशावादी बने l हमेशा सकारात्मक सोचें l उम्मीद रखें कि हमारा आने वाला कल आज से बेहतर होगा l अपने आस पास उन लोगों को रखे जिनकी उपस्थिति आपको साहसी और उत्साहित रहने की प्रेरणा देती है l जो आपके अच्छे कार्यों की सराहना करते हैं , और विपत्ति में साथ नहीं छोड़ते, वही आपके असल शुभ्चितक हैं l

किसी ने खूब कहा है कि, मेरे जीवन की सबसे बड़ी गलती यह थी कि मैंने लोगों को अपने जीवन में उनकी योग्यता से अधिक स्थान दिया l

अपनी हार स्वीकार करना सीखो l खुद का मालिक बनने की दिशा में यह एक अत्यंत महत्वपूर्ण कदम है l यह कठिन है किन्तु नामुमकिन नहीं l हमारी अनुमति के बिना हमे कोई हानि नहीं पहुंचा सकता l यदि हम अपनी गलतियों को स्वीकार करना सीख लें तो आने वाले समय में , हमारे द्वारा गलतियाँ करने की सम्भावना कम हो जाएगी l

इस प्रकार हम अपने जीवन को कुछ गिनती के सालों के रूप में नहीं बल्कि एक खुशनुमा अनुभव के रूप में पायेंगे l

Be the owner of yourself..

“If I could show you how awful you made me feel, you would never be able to look me in the eye again.”

The best lesson I have ever been taught is:
“It’s your life; don’t stuck with other’s words.” Most of us easily get influenced by other’s words and behavior. We change our mood according to their opinions and perceptions. Is it right to change your mood, behavior, lifestyle, thought process and attitude only for others because they think its not correct. No, this is not done. We are individuals , we have our own different mindsets, thinking, views, opinions, likes , dislikes, desires , dreams, goals, choices, values, morals, principles.

Many times we got some unexpected behavior and tasks from our closed ones. Sometimes they want to act us those things which our inner voice doesn’t allow, but we do that just because we wish to make everyone happy. We don’t want to hurt them. We think if we will say no to them it will be their disrespect.

Who wish to own others or who likes to interfere in others life? The person, who is not satisfied with himself and who compares himself with others. The one who thinks, if nothing is going to be right in his life so he should disturb others. The one who cannot see someone being superior to him. The one who is not confident about his skills and abilities. The who has no self confidence. The one who has no ruling power, who cannot manage his time, relations, tasks, knowledge. The one who believes in showoff, fake personalities, temporary happiness. The one who always sees the half empty glass, and who is unknown of himself.

Explore your self. It is the first step towards self ownership. Think about your positive sides. Take a paper and pen and sit in a peaceful l place. Try to find out your interests, skills, fears, distractions and abilities.  Write down these all things about everything on that paper which is running through your mind that time. Then read them and find out the ways to polish your skills, grow your abilities and overcome your fears. Only we know what our real happiness is of course.

Don’t try to change yourself but try to improve yourself. Things cannot be changed hard and fast. It takes period of time to make a visible change. If we try for a sudden change, it will take a lot of efforts and produce a state of physical and mental loss. At the same place if we create efforts to improve our self it will take some time but we shall be groomed by it. A regular and continuous improvement will make a great change in us with lots of benefits. Let’s take a very common example of being Fat to Fit. If a person is embarrass due to his overweight body and ugly look and he wants some weight loss for having an attractive look and a healthy body. He suddenly starts a Diet Plan and gym. It is damn sure that he will quit his weight losing plan as soon as possible. It is impossible to wake up early morning if you are habitat of late night sleeping. If you will not take full sleep your health will be affected in negative manner. If you suddenly start taking fewer calories than your regular diet you will face some weakness and dizziness. But if you will make a small change of half hours in your sleep timings on regular intervals of a week, after some months you will definitely start an on time sleep and never going to miss a sunrise. In same way if you will take some, fruit, juice and salads at the place of more junk food in your diet , it will positively nourish you. Don’t less the quantity off your food but change the quality or type of food you are taking. Don’t do exercise more than 1 hours but try to walk at the place of using vehicles for going the ordinary and nearby tasks. This will not only be helpful in reducing your weight but also in improving your performance in daily activities.

Listen to everyone but act according to your choice. Being a good listener is a great thing, but don’t get influenced by others. Use all senses of your brain to differentiate between the goods and the bads.  Make a fine line between what is happening and what is to be happened. Every person has its own morals and principles about his life which sets the boundary of his decision making capacity and decides his behavior. Never break the principles of your life under any pressure, greed and influence.

Act according to your choice does never meant that you can do anything wrong or illegal or against humanity. Try hard to grow yourself but not to put others down.

“Stop allowing other people to dilute or poison your day with their words or opinions. Stand strong in the truth of your beauty and journey through your day without attachment to the validation of others.” – Dr Steve Maraboli

Be self dependent. Dependency forces you for acting according to others choice. Try to do your work with your hands and within time. Raise expectations from self not from others. If you are favoring someone without his concern that is your choice but if you are expecting for that favor to be returned by him is his-only choice. You can’t force him to do so. Lets us understand it with this simple example. The overtime hours in your company are valuable only when they are required by a task and approved by your boss, otherwise you can sit 24*7(beside your regular hours) in office doesn’t make any sense.

Don’t interfere in others life. Don’t try to rule others.  You have your body to own, your mind to rule, your tongue to control and your actions to be judged.

“ Respect your own individuality, and respect other’s individuality, never interfere in anybody’s life and don’t allow anybody to interfere in your life. Only then one day you can grow into spirituality.”

Adopt the changes without losing your originality. Follow the trend but maintain your own or I must say be the trend for others to follow. It is good to be flexible to adopt the changes but don’t give up your own individuality. Take only positive things in your character from others.

See the positive sides of the things. Always see the half glass full of water. Never lose hope for being better than now. Always keep your Surroundings full with those people who are supportive and encouraging for you.

“Good things happen in your life when you surround yourself with positive people.”         – ROY BENNETT

“ Biggest mistake I made in my life is ….. letting people stay in my life far longer than they deserve.”- Someone

Accept your failure: It is most important step in the way of being self owner. It is hard but possible. No one can harm us without our permission. If we start admitting our faults it will become easy to make fewer mistakes than before.

“Strong people don’t put others down they lift them up.”                              -Michael P. Watson

“And in the end it’s not years in your life that count; it’s the life in your years.”                                                                                                                                – Abraham Lincoln

Is It Worth to Compare Yourself with Others?

Hello Everyone! Welcome Again to my blog post. Here I will talk about Comparison of yourself with others, either done by you or someone else. Its very interesting subject for me to discuses.

Now a days, stress is very common phenomenon which is unifying the whole world’s people together. Stress has no issues with Cast, Colors, Religion, Height, Poverty, Language, Country, State, Name, Fame etc…. It treats each and everyone equally. You believe or not, but it is a bitter truth, that persons are not much upset with own problems but more with others happiness. somewhere, the reason behind this desperation is Comparison. I will take simple example of a wife happily watching her social media updates and suddenly she started fighting with her husband by saying, look at Mrs. Sharma. she posted the pics of her Manali trip. See how much Mr. Sharma love his wife And you can’t even take us for a Dinner also. A woman , who was polite and calm got disturbed and furious within seconds.

While we starts comparing our self with others , an emotion of jealousy arises within us and we go through under desperation. The root Causes of jealousy is feeling of insecurity, fear of loosing, lake of self confidence and a poor self image. We think that others have better skills and qualities. We underestimates our abilities and without trying we find a conclusion that it is my destiny. Generally we think, everyone is better than us but we are only seeing the image one is portraying in front of us. We all are human beings and we have our own strengths and weaknesses. It is human nature to remember the impact of others on us.

Stop comparing yourself with others. Don’t bind yourself within limits. Be limitless to find out your strengths. Be yourself and keep around only those who accept you in the same way you are and don’t waste your time and energy to those who comparing you with others and wants you to loose your own identity. Always remember that, “No one can hurt you without your permission”.

Never complain your parents for what they couldn’t give you but always appreciate them because their love is selfless and they always do their best for you. Don’t blame others to your failure. Admit your mistakes and make sure to not repeat them again.

“We judge ourselves by our intentions. And others by their actions.”

There are two words Competition and Comparison. There is a very fine line between them. Competition can motivate us to improve ourselves and to learn from others that have skills and abilities that we don’t yet have. Or it can help those that have not yet acquired our level of skill. 

If we speak of comparing apples and oranges, it will be an unequal and unfair comparison; it is same as when we start comparing our homes, our parenting, our children, our ability to make balloon animals, or to do business. “Everyone is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.” (Albert Einstein)

When we make unhealthy comparisons we do not see progress or strengths in ourselves and others because we are focused on what could be or should be. Someone may be better than us due to some God gifted talents, but hard work and Continuous practice can beat any talent.

So, Stop making comparisons of yours with others. Compete people for your betterment. Stay happy with whatever you have.

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Stay blessed!  Stay healthy!  Keep enjoying!

How to Overcome the Problem of Over Thinking

Hello Friends! I am back with my new topic………. hope you will enjoy the reading…

So, what Overthinking is? It is the process of converting your perceptions , regarding the same set of circumstances, from brighter to darker and sunny to stormy . Mostly Overthinking does negative impacts on our mind and health. It directs our behavior and actions in a wrong manner. Example : Here I will take a simple example of a student’s thought process before entering in the examination hall. Although he is well prepared for his exam but the masters sitting in his mind are announcing his future. The negative master is shouting hello! it is impossible of clearing the subject this year. I m telling which question you didn’t revised will surely come. You are a loser. You are good for nothing. everybody will laugh on you. How will you face your family and friends etc. Among these all there is a low voice of positive master who is encouraging him as , its OK , you will do it. But negativity is dominating the positivism and the result is souring throught, increasing heartbeat, sweating forehead and paralyzed power of thinking and understanding.

But we can handle this situation by giving more importance to the positive master and by thinking in a pleasant way. First we have to know about the reasons or the circumstances for which we starts negatively thinking. We should learn our behavior and attitude when we are in situation of over thinking. Do we get frustrated on our family and closed one’s in result of over thinking.
By knowing those reasons for which our mind goes negative and restless it becomes easy to handle the situation. We should note down those reasons and that behavior we do while we are depressed. Since we are human beings, we have the ability of thinking and understanding which differentiate us from other animals. We can’t stop our mind from thinking but we can change the direction of our thoughts by thinking about those things which make us happy and calm. We can prepare our brain to accept challenges by improving our self confidence. At the place of fear and depression we should face the problem. Without happening of an event we should not make our negative assumptions about its result. We should only make positive aspects regarding the situation. When the event will happen we will get the result.

There is another way which is very simple and interesting. We should develop our hobbies and maintain them regularly. Music is also a best medium to divert our mind and change its mood. We should do some creative things, Exercise and meditation. By doing these all we can inhance our concentration power.
By reducing the overthinking we can stay ourself away from many mental abnormalities such as tension, depression and uneasiness. We can improve our decision making power.
By following above simple steps we can overcome the problem of overthinking. In my further blogs I will go more deeply within the subject. Stay happy and healthy…. See u in my next blog….


Hello Friends! This is my first blog. So here i am going to tell you about me and the content you will find in my upcoming blogs.

I am a writing lover person, I mean I love to write my thoughts and experiences in my diaries. We can learn a lot with our past experiences. By writing them we can maintain a healthy memory of our good and bad feelings, thoughts and experiences. Also we can remember those persons who comes in our life for a short period but gives the lesson for whole life.

When I want to show my emotions to someone and i feel hesitate to talk or don’t feel comfortable in making eye contact , I used to take the help of Paper, Pen or SMS . I think Words have magic. They can make you laugh, cry, angry…etc.

We all face many problems and different situations in our lives. At some instances we all have same stories, experiences, views and attitudes towards these ever changing situations. Here I decided to blog writing. By this we can relate our lives to each other and share our experiences. We can find solutions and some peace also. Its a way of connecting our minds and thoughts. We can explore our self more by Sharing our viewpoints. It will help us to improve our behavior in a tough situation also.

My blogs will be related with our daily life evens and with my thought process, how i feel and how i behave in different situations. Beside these you can also suggest me the topics and give me the ideas, so I can write on those also.

Hope you will enjoy the reading..

Stay Healthy, Stay Blessed!

See you soon in my next Blog with lots of interesting things……