Happy Holi 2019

Fill your life with different colours

Holi is the festival of Indian Hindus. It is celebrated in all parts of India. This is the festival of colors, peace and love. It is the triumph of good over bad. It is celebrated in early spring season. Acording to Hindi calender, Every year Holi festival comes on Poornima (Full moon) of Falgun month. The full moon day is known as Holika dahan Or choti Holi next day it is playing Holi with colors. People put colors on each other and hug each other. They forget all old fights and problems between them and starts a new beginning. The vibrant colors fill the positivity inside us. It gives the message of love and brotherhood.

The story behind this colorful festival is also very interesting. According to Hindu mythology once there was a king named Hiranyakashyap.  He was so cruel and bad. He wants the all mankind to worship him. But his biggest disappointment was his son Prahlad. Many times he tried to kill his son for refusing him to accept as god but not succeeded. Then his sister Holika suggested him that she will enter into a burning fire as she had a boon of being immune with fire from Lord Brahma. With the blessing of Lord Vishnu,  prahlad was safe and holika burned. It is the Triumph of killing internal evils.

Holika dahan

Every year my mumma prepares potato chips, Potato papad and also many other types of papads for holi. Also snacks and the lovely Gujhiyas. In my village the cakes and  Burkalas made of cow dunk are gathered at a place with some wood by each family of the village before some days of full moon. Rituals starts by lightening up that bone fire at the full moon day. Next day everyone plays holi with colors. This year Holika dahan was on 20th of March and Color Holi was on 21st of March.
When I was too young I didn’t like to play with colors.  I only love to eat sweets.  If someone put colors on my face, I used to start fighting with him. When I grown up a bit more than I started playing Holi with full excitement. My father used to bring so many colours, some dry and some water colors with water balloons and a pichkaari for us. Everyone would love to play in their groups. Sometimes people colors you after bathing also.
On the day of Holi,  we wake up early in the morning and after being fresh we take some snacks and sweets. I love Dahibada the most. Then we change our clothes.  Generally mummy gives the old and ugly clothes to put on for the holi play 😝. After changing we put oil in hairs and ties them up. Then we Put some moisturizer on face and now we are ready to play.
I miss my childhood Holi celebration. I  my family, our neighbours and friends,  we all used to prepare gujhiyas, play,  eat, dance and enjoy together. Throwing water balloons and colors was so exciting that time. We used to play in teams. Target someone and throw him in the water tub. Sometimes roll him over the muddy floor. We used to poke the elder’s group and challenges them for coloring us but when they come near us we locked ourselves inside bathroom. And finally when they found us they poured all our colors on us😂. One more thing we do was taking a potato and cut down that in two pieces, write or draw something on that and pull that shape out then fill some colors on blank area and throw it on others. We can say it potato stamping. Now it is only a formality as we neighbors are separated, friends and siblings are married. Everyone has different style of holi celebration in their in laws house.
Last time I played my style Holi in 2010 at my Nani( maternal Grandma)’ s house with my cousins and Mama,  Mami. After that I got busy in further studies and career.
Well, I want to play that kind of Holi like my childhood again. That was the real enjoyment and fun. Beside these rejoice and fun there is a negative side that some people get drunk and lost their senses and start abusing others.  Sometime the situation turns too ugly that all enjoyment turns into a disaster. Beside this some people throws colors on animals for their temporary fun. Any festival doesn’t allow To hurt a innocent and poor animal. Don’t destroy the beauty of this colorful festival by doing such mean activities. Never throw colors on someone who has different religion and who is not allowing you to do so. This is the festival of peace and brotherhood so don’t hurt someone’ s emotions. Don’t color someone forcefully.
Festival celebration is a way to give respect, love and care to others, so don’t disrespect someone especially in case of females,  don’t touch them badly while putting colors.  Never cross your limits. Don’t humiliate them on the name of holi. Respect your religious morals and culture. Be kind and Play safe. I wish you all a Very Happy Holi 😊! May this Holi Will fill your life with full of positivity and happiness.

Happy Holi

What Your Clothing Reveals About You

Choose the right clothing

Do you think your clothing can reveal your personality or it is worth to judge a person by his clothing? In my opinion clothing does not open up your whole inner personality but yes , it reflects a clear image of it. Your dressing sense is the first thing which is look upon by the people and they set an idea on its behalf about your personality even without interacting you. Your clothing sets a great impact on the individuals within your surroundings. So its very important to carefully dress-up yourself before going out. All this information given below is based on the research of some psychology specialists and fashion experts and collected from different sources and some of my own experiences.

It is the right of everyone to look attractive and stylish. Style has no proper definition and age limitation. Everyone can set his own style and can wear anything, he feels comfortable for his body. There are some tips which will be helpful in selecting a perfect out fit for you:-

  1. Don’t follow the trend blindly. It is not important of being trendy always but how this trend is going with your body matters. Accept that every trend is not suitable for your body just like each shining metal is not gold. Choose a clothing according to your Body type, body shape and body texture. Avoid loose clothing if you are skinny and choose vertical lining shirts if you are short in height. Make your own trend and follow your self style statement.
  2. Dress up your self according to your age. Don’t wear something which make you older and ugly than your actual age or make you the victim of insults and laughter in old age. Always carry an outfit which can maintain your dignity and respect at that particular age step.
  3. Select a clothing you can carry elegantly and comfortably without loosing its charm. Then only it will show your confidence and self esteem. It is not about how costly your dress is, if you have no ability to manage it perfectly it will completely destroy your look.
  4. Dress up yourself according to the theme or occasion of that place you are going. If you are going in some office environment than carry some formals or if you are going for outing wear some casuals. For any wedding ceremony you can choose some heavy and embroidered outfits. In case of women, don’t wear too short clothes in your workplace as they can impact your flirty and advantage taking nature upon someone’s mind.
  5. If your going in other region, country, state or different environment choose the clothing according to the tradition and culture of that particular area. In India there is a phrase “jaisa desh vaisha bhesh”. Whatever you are wearing must be acceptable there.
  6. Put the clothing according to the weather and season. In summer prefer light colors and in winters prefer dark colors.

Now what the psychology says about the people’s mood, mind and personality, who loves to wear some particular colors and styles of clothing. Many time we dressed up with our mood and mental state of mind. Some people planned their clothing, some just wear whatever they wish with no concern.

People who love to wear bright colors are childish, full of energy, optimistic and trend setter. Bright colors such as yellow clothing is preferred by the people who are active, creative, addicted, day dreamer,adventures, explorer and conquerer. Orange clothing is liked by optimistic, cheerful, eager to change and energetic people. they may be flaky but ambitious and prudent. People who love pink are kind, romantic and self righteous. people who like red are passionate, easily excitable, slightly self-centered and attention seeker. Purple lover people are royal, creative and art lover. White is the symbol of peace, freedom, purity and trust. these are reliable and flexible to the changes.

People who love to wear dark colors or dark shades are mature. disciplined, deep thinker and strong will powered. persons who love black clothing are purposeful, ambitious, sensitive and emotional. they hide their emotions and believe in the inner beauty of a person. Brown lovers are stable, reliable and concentrated. People who love blue are kind, calm, sympathetic, poise and shy in nature. Who loves green are active, soft heart, financially stable, social and cautious.

If someone love to wear some abstract printing clothes like some geometrical printing, maths formulas, that means you are sorted and have clear goals of your life. You are confident about you and love to express yourself. If you love to wear floral printing clothes, you are kind and natural. You can never hurt someone. Someone who loves slogan printed clothing are bold and expressive. They love to express their thoughts through these slogans.

Someone who choose loose clothings are open minded and can easily adopt the changes. They think beyond the limits. In reverse who love tight clothing are narrow minded and more conservative in nature. They are limited under the social boundaries. The one who is always in search of designer dresses has lake of self confidence. He has some issues regarding his image so he always want to show off his financial status and money power.

Your clothing is the way of giving respect to others and in same way getting respect from them too. Don’t make someone awkward with your dressing. It is not worth to judge a person’s character on the basis of his clothing because clothing is based on occasion, weather conditions, financial status and individual’s choice, and these all factors are changeable with time. But, yes choose a clothing which is easily adjustable, manageable, and comfortable for you. Which make you more confident and to groom up you not to destroy your look.

Which Brick You Are Installing In Your Child’s Foundation?

Parenting

Parenting is a most powerful and deciding factor of your child’s character, mentality, behavior and actions towards the life, people, universe and circumstances. It is taking care of a child from his birth to maturity. It is a truth that parents can’t write their children future but they can set its foundation. You can easily develop a child at the place of modifying an adult. A child learns lots of new things such as fashion, games, knowledge from his school, friends, society and books. But his characteristic features like how to deal, act , behave, think, his morals, manners etc. are based on his parents, family background, and upbringing. Most of the cases parents are the mother & father, but in some cases it can be an elder sibling, a caretaker, or relative.

In all cases, being a parent is a very tough job, full of responsibility, care, awareness and sacrifices. For every child his parents are his ideal and the best persons of the world as he closely observe them and they are always right for him. He always try to be like them. So its your duty to maintain the discipline in your activities in front of your child, which has a direct effect on upbringing of your child. Every parent has the same goal ,” the best for their children”, but the way of treatment are different. Sometimes parents teaches the right lesson to their child but they select the wrong examples or wording. Such as all-time proving self parents wrong in front of their grandchildren like we awakes whole night in your sickness, your grand father even didn’t allow us to take proper rest. Some insults their wife and others like, Your mother has no sense of dressing. Mayank’ s father is selfish, he dose not love him.

At the place of degrading someone always show them the positive side of each and everyone’s situation. Tell them every parent provide the best facilities to his children according to their conditions and abilities. Teach them the equal importance of each family member Whether he is earning father or housewife mother, or the old grandparents. Teach them the importance of being self dependent for their regular activities. Don’t show the different behavior for girl and boy child. Remember, this is the actual platform where your boy is learning the value of a girl and respecting her and your girl is learning how much she can expect from a boy. Difference starts from the home.

Teach your children the value of hard work and education. Educate them for making responsible citizen at the place of money making machine. At the place of promoting them with your power and approach teach them to pass the exams with their hard work and knowledge. Don’t forget that you have such position due to your hard work. So don’t parallelize your child’s mental strength under the influence of your approach and power. Make them creative and productive.

Corruption also starts from the home. People used to take work from their children by paying some sweets and toys to them in return. “Give me one glass of water, I will give you a chocolate”. Don’t tell it to your father, I ‘ll buy a toy for you”. Sometime blackmails them,” If you will do this, I’ll complain your class teacher”, sometimes threaten them,” next time you will touch my laptop, I’will break your hands down”. In response, your child is habitual of such kind give and take. Now its his time and he will say first give me a bike, then I’ll do that particular thing. Don’t make your child a greedy, selfish, corrupt person. Don’t teach him the way of blackmailing and threatening you for his advantages.

Trust your child. Teach him the value of money and its saving. Give him some responsibilities according to his rising age. Appreciate his good works. Don’t insult him in front of others. Give him a little care and time. Nourish your child with morals not with luxury. Don’t predict negative future about him.” As I can see you will not serve us in our old age.” “You will become the slave of your wife”. Such wordings does not make a good impact on other person. Don’t spoil the relations with your tongue.

Don’t Force your thoughts and dreams on your child. Give the wings to his dreams and strength them by motivating him for achieving the goals. It is good to teach him your learnings but allow him to create his learnings with his own experiences. Try to maintain a good communicational relationship. Listen to him. Value his opinion. Respect his personal space. Be a friend to him and he will never hide anything from you. Give him the conclusion of his all confusions.

Sacrifice the habits you don’t want your child to adopt. Leave the habit of chewing tobacco , drinking alcohol, smoking etc. You can not stop your child of doing so, if you use to do the same things. Don’t use mobile and watch the television if you are not in favor of your child to do so.

Adopt a little change to deal with the modern generation. What you will give them today will get back to you tomorrow. Nothing will go with us at the end of life but make sure to left a wise and self dependent generation behind us. And our morals will always be there in the form of that implementing brick.

Things Which are Free of Cost to Distribute

In this Selfish world Everything has a price to be paid. Nothing is free. We persons are too money minded that we cannot give a single thing in free to others. We are always in the chance to grab others opportunities. Thinking of people is so down market that they feel time waste in helping others and giving money to others is a very tough job for them as love for money is dominating their humanity.

But behind this cunning nature, there are so many reasons. The most important of them is the unfaithful and thankless behavior of people. When someone needs money ,it comes to you with a puppy face but when the time comes to return it back, he becomes more advocative. It becomes an impossible task to get your own money back from him. Another reason is the want for the return of favor, selfish and greedy nature of the people. Due to these the real needy and actually deserving candidates didn’t get help at the right time.

Well it is your money, you have earned it with your hard work and skills. So its your choice only to help someone with money or the things purchased by your money. But here I am not talking about money or luxury. Here I am talking about some Priceless – costly things, that means the things which has no price but more value. There are so many things you can distribute among people at free of cost.

1.. Positive Vibes :- These are the vibrations or the kind of energy a person feels, when you are around him. It is the impact of your presence on someone’s mind. Now the question is how can you give the positive vibes to others? Answer is very simple, just give a sweet smile. use some sweet words, show positive attitude in every situation. Respect the individuality of others. Win their trust.

2.. A Helping Hand :- Help the people who need it. Share your food at the place of wasting it. Help in crossing the road to the children,  senior citizens, handicaps and animals also. Try to provide first aid or send him to the hospital if someone met with an accident. Don’t make videos and pictures but make some efforts to save a life. Leave your seat and let that senior citizen or pregnant woman or that sick person to sit there. at the place of laughing on a felling person , give him your helping hand and raise him up. Above same things are applicable on animals, birds and plants also. Put some grain seeds on the open area near your home for feeding hungry birds. Avail some water for thirsty animals as they have no water supply from government.

3.. Moral Support :- It means, if someone is in grief, console him, if he is sad , try to please him, if he is desperate, motivate him, If he is doing some good or making some efforts, appreciate him, If he fails, buck him up for trying again, If he is hopeless, give him some positive thoughts in each process always give a hope for the best and encourage him with lots of good examples. If someone has no idea of life or he is distracted from his way, give him guidance. Help him in finding out his strengths and influence him for giving the best out of him.

4.. Little Charity :- Charity does not only means to give some money or blankets to any social organization, but you can distribute your old furniture, clothes, crockery, gadgets etc. if they are in good condition and you are going to update them. You can give your old books to the poor students of your school after passing your current class. You also can give your uniform if it is not meaningful for you after leaving that particular school. At the place of throwing or burning the things which are in good condition, you can help some needy whom these are more valuable.

5.. Your Time :- Time is a precious thing to give someone in this busy scheduled life. If your one second can save someones life or give him the right direction, please give it to him. And finally when you will count these seconds, you would actually be calculating the best moments of your life.

6.. Freedom :- It has a broad meaning but here I will only discuss about someones personal space. Don’t put your nose everywhere. Whatever is someone doing until it is against humanity or illegal, don’t interrupt them. In democracy everyone has right to think, act and behave with his own choice. Don,t disturb or trouble any animal, bird or plant just for your fun. Don’t pluck the leaves and flowers for no reason. Freedom is one of my favorite issues. I will discuss it in my another blog in detail.

Beside these you can save water, electricity, fuel and other resources and can reduce the trouble of our next generation, Do more plantation and give oxygen to the environment. Keep your environment clean and maintain hygienic atmosphere and prevent the diseases.

If you will distribute above things among humans and animals , I promise you will never return with an empty hand. You will always get a happy heart and satisfied mind by yourself and lots of prayers and well wishers with lots of good luck. Implement this kind of giving nature in your attitude and be the best version mankind yourself.

Win Your Anger

Don’t let your anger win

“Anger is a feeling, that makes your mouth work faster than your mind”

Anger is a strong emotion of living beings, which leads from normal
irritations to the furious rage. —It is that state of mind , which make your actions more destructive , Negative , senseless and harmful. —It is an automatic emotion which arises in response to a pain, failure, loss, grief, violence etc. It is both automatic and sometimes applied by others. It may be the reaction of some instant happenings or the result of a long time depression and failure.

Win Your Anger

   There can be so many reasons for a person being angry. Some of them are genetic, some are the results of past bad experiences, some are based on present poor conditions and other are the responses of the activities happened against our expectations. In today’s multitasking life, where every task has a limited period of time to be accomplished, a little mistake or delay can set the fire of your anger. Example: you are waiting for the flight and it delays by one hour.

   Sometime the restlessness of your body can make you angry. When you are ill or suffering from a long term disease, it can cause helplessness and the responsive emotion comes out as anger. Short amount of anger is good for health and mental peace as it has no bad effect on your heart and body. it releases your stress. Expressing anger against any violence and wrong behavior can be beneficial for not being happened it again. Anger is good until it is not harmful for you and others. When it goes out of control it may cause serious problems like breakups in relationships, defame your social prestige, create mental and physical illness. When you become angry your heartbeat rate and blood pressure goes higher than its normal rate.

How to deal with your anger : – It is very important to convert your energy in a positive and constructive manner. Don’t waste your energy against you. Give it a correct direction to make it productive. there are so many ways to win your anger. First of all teach your mind that anger is actually not a good thing for your growth and success as well as for your professional and personal life. Try to find out the reason behind your anger and try to resolve them at the place of blaming others, yourself and the destiny. Don’t let the words never, only me, impossible to command your mind. Replace them with next time, just a coincidence ,will not happen again etc.

“Anger is a friend of your enemies, which helps them in defeating you. To win your enemy Defeat your anger.”

Leave the place as soon as possible. When some incident is making you unhappy and or anyone is irritating you then leave that place as soon as possible. It will be helpful to lower the intensity of your anger. Go to a lonely place and take a deep breath. Repeat the process with saying yah Its okay, I will manage, I am Okey, I am Fine. This therapy is very useful practically.

Distract your mind from the current situation. Try to think about something that makes you happier. Use your imagination power to think some funny and relaxing. Try to memorize some jokes and humor to laugh. Laugh loudly. You also can listen some music. Music is super fast mood changer. or you can engage yourself in some other activities like, walking, driving, shopping, etc. Distracting your mind can help you to forget the bad situation and can calm down your mind.

“Explain your anger instead of expressing, and you will find the solutions not arguments.” It means go in deep with the reasons behind your anger. Don’t speak bad words and language when you are angry or don’t raise your hands upon someone.

“It is wise to direct your anger towards problems not people; to focus your energies on answers not excuses.”

Learn to forgive at the place of taking revenge. Feeling of taking revenge can do the situation more worse. Try to forget the things and forgive the people. Also use some apologizing words if you hurts someone in your anger.

Do some meditation to relax your mind. If needed or you think it is uncontrollable your anger contact with a psychiatrist. Observe the aggression and violence in your behavior under anger. If it is not acceptable consult with a counselor.

Share your emotions with your family or friends. Blocking your anger in your mind can be dangerous for your health and mind. So don’t store your emotions within you. Share them with your closed ones, it will be helpful to find out some solutions and mental support.

Its very important to deal your anger in a positive way so its output will become beneficiary for you. By following above ideas you might be able to win your anger during a certain time period.

Observation, The Key To Wisdom

“Don’t just look ,Observe! Don’t just swallow, Taste! Don’t just sleep, Dream! Don’t just think, Feel! Don’t Just exist, Live.”

Wisdom is the quality of using your all senses and abilities to make a sensible judgment. It is the ability of human brain, used in analyzing, categorizing and synchronizing the things to make a valuable decision . Wisdom is not God gifted but it can be build and improved by enhancing our observational power. There is always a conclusion, moral and inspiration in every observation which enables our brain to get the facts and stay calm.

“Quite people have the loudest minds.” STEPHEN HAWKING

Many of us or I can say almost all of us just see the things and avoid to go in the detailing of these happenings as we have an excuse that we have no time in this ever running life-style. luckily, I am a good Observer. In my opinion it doesn’t take much time in observation, when you have a good presence of mind, when you speak less but sees more. Be quiet but not blind. Teach your eyes to hear first only then they can see the real truth. I like to find out the logics behind any incident not reasons for that. I enjoy the detailed studying and deep traveling of the things. Sometimes people laugh at me that how deeply I examine the things, but I don’t care as I am a self aware person. Since I am quite but that does not mean I am guilty or I can’t see the truth, it only means that I am closely observing you, your expressions , your words and your acts . Yes we can not focus on many things once but we can observe many aspects of a single thing at once.

“I sit back & observe every person in my life whether we talk everyday or not. I know who motivates me & keeps it 100. I also know who talks about me & smiles in my face. I know who i can trust & who i need to keep a distance with.Whether I say anything & let you be fake, I know.”

There is a difference between looking and observing. In Looking we just see the things for a small intent but in observing we keep our scene in our memory for later thinking and deducing it into a meaningful conclusion.

How we can be a good observer?

Go in detail with your surroundings. Notice the each and every change in behavior and nature of the people, animals, birds, plants, weather etc. in your surroundings. For example notice the regular way of your office , which kind of trees are there , changes in the boardings, changes in the display of any particular departmental store. See the plantation in front of your office building, note their type, their flowering time etc. Note the dress up and behavior of your colleagues. notice their expressions whether they match with their wordings?

“I am very cautious of people whose actions don’t match their words.”

Create a link among what you see. Try to find out a connection between the things you notice before and make a decision. For example as you see a crying baby and some food item spread on the way and a dog near him. so you can get the conclusion that the child would be going with the food item and that dog started following him so he got afraid and his goods was fell down.

Be Neutral so you will never be partial. Being neutral means see the things with your point of view and consider them with fresh mind. Erase all old opinions of others regarding that particular subject. for example If we have an information that puppies of dogs bite then we can not observe them as we have a fear of being injured. So for getting out the actual truth always start with the zero.

“To observe and watch one’s own mind is something really interesting. The untrained mind will run and follow its old habit patterns. Because it has not been trained and taught,it will get lost in all kind of stories and issues. Therefore we have to train our mind. The meditation practice in Buddhism is is all about training its own mind.” – Ajahn Chah

Improve your memory. Memory can be improved by enhancing your concentration power. Do some Meditation to keep your mind calm so that you can more concentrate on the present situations. You can do some short exercises based on your presence of mind. Like when you are going outside of home try to remember that did you switch the lights off, turn the burner off, properly locked the door etc.

Remove your distractions. Distractions means the disturbing elements which are not good for your mindful observation. when you are traveling by bus or train, don’t use the headphones. Try to hear the conversation of the people, notice the difference in culture, outfits, language, of different people. Keep an active eye on the events happening around you. while watching a Movie or TV Show, don’t just watch it but try to get some learning out of it. Observe the themes and backgrounds. Costumes for different shots and props used for different songs. listen the song lyrics carefully and try to get their meaning. Think about the title if it justified the story. Try to figure out the motto of the director for that particular film or show.

Note down your all observational learnings on a notebook so you can maintain a record for future purpose. When you will become a good observer you will start enjoying all things and events around you. Try to visit some new places and make your participations in different events out of your comfort zone. Let your experience grow up. It will give you the new ways of exploring your life and the actual enjoyment of the life.

“Observation more than books and experience more than persons are the prime educators.”

Let me give you a practical example of my life. It was 2009-2010, when I and my some friends used to go BSIP Lucknow for our Summer Training during my Polytechnic studies. On the way we saw a boy around 14-15 years doing shoe polish. few minutes later an other boy of the same age came there. He put off his shirt and started shoe polishing with the first one. We all saw that and move ahead. But my mind was running as I observed both boys have same features means those were brothers. Second one was wearing a uniform of an public school, means he was just coming from his school. it was my conclusion. and here i got a learning too that is “How down to earth that boy was. He was not a bit ashamed on his profession as any known can see him there. He was laborious too.” There are so many observations of my daily life. But here my motive of telling this story is, that a small learning from your surroundings can motivate you for the biggest achievement of your life and is also helpful for keeping yourself more positive .

Millions of people saw the apple falling , but no one observed it before Newton. Be an observer to make great discoveries.

अपने मालिक स्वयं बनो

यदि  मैं तुम्हें  बता सकता कि तुम मुझे कितना शर्मिंदा महसूस कराते हो तो तुम कभी मेरी आंखों में देख नहीं पाते

सबसे अच्छी सीख, जो मुझे आज तक मिली  है वह यह है कि “ये तुम्हारी जिंदगी है, दूसरों के शब्दों में   मत  उलझो” l  हम में से अधिकांश दूसरों के शब्दों और व्यवहार से प्रभावित हो जाते हैं l   हम दूसरे लोगों के दृष्टिकोण और विचारों के अनुसार अपने  मूड को बदल लेते हैं l क्या अपने व्यवहार, मन की स्थिति, जीवन जीने का तरीका, सोचने की प्रक्रिया  एवं कार्य करने का तरीका सिर्फ इसलिए बदल लेना चाहिए, क्योंकि दूसरों को लगता है कि यह गलत है?  नहीं,  ऐसा करना उचित नहीं है l  हम अलग अलग व्यक्तित्व है l हमारे पास अपनी विभिन्न मन-स्थितियां,  सोच, मत, दृष्टिकोण, पसंद, नापसंद,  सपने, उद्देश्य,  विकल्प, महत्व, आदर्श और सिद्धांत है l

  कई बार  हमारे   करीबी लोग  हमारे प्रति आशा के विपरीत  व्यवहार व कार्य करते हैं l कभी कभी वह हमसे वह कार्य कराना चाहते हैं, जिसकी गवाही हमारी अंतरात्मा नहीं देती l  लेकिन फिर भी हम वह कार्य करते हैं क्योंकि हम सबको खुश रखना चाहते हैं l  हम नहीं चाहते कि किसी को बुरा लगे l हमें लगता है कि  यदि हम कार्य करने से इंकार कर देंगे तो यह हमारे अपनों  का अपमान होगा l

 वह कौन हैं : जिन्हें दूसरों के जीवन में हस्तक्षेप करने में मजा आता है l

 वह व्यक्ति जो स्वयं से संतुष्ट नहीं है, और अपनी तुलना दूसरों से करता है l वह व्यक्ति जो सोचता है, कि यदि उसके जीवन में कुछ अच्छा नहीं हो रहा है तो उसे दूसरों को परेशान करना चाहिए l जो दूसरों को तरक्की करते नहीं देख सकता l वह व्यक्ति जिसे अपनी काबिलियत और योग्यताओं पर भरोसा नहीं है और जिसके अंदर जीतने  का हौसला नहीं है l जो अपने समय, रिश्तों कार्यों और ज्ञान में तालमेल नहीं बैठा पाता तथा जिसे दिखावा पसंद है और जो बनावटी जिंदगी जीता है और  अस्थाई खुशियों की तलाश में रहता है l वह व्यक्ति जो हमेशा नकारात्मक सोच को बढ़ावा देता है और  जो खुद से अनजान है l

खुद को जाने :  स्वयं पर स्वामित्व पाने का यह पहला कदम है l  खुद को पहचाने, अपने अंदर झांके, अपने  सकारात्मक पहलू को समझें l  एक  पैन और पेपर लेकर एक शांत स्थान पर बैठ जाएं और अपनी रुचियों, भयों, भटकावों और योग्यताओं को ज्ञात करने की कोशिश करें एवम जो भी विचार आपके मस्तिष्क में दौड़ रहे हैं, उन्हें पेपर पर लिखते रहें l उसके बाद उन्हें पढ़कर यह जानने की कोशिश करें कि किस प्रकार, आप अपनी कमजोरियों को हराकर अपनी योग्यता को निखार सकते हैं l अपनी वास्तविक ख़ुशी का ज्ञान सिर्फ और सिर्फ हमें ही होता है l

खुद को बदलने  के स्थान पर  खुद में सुधार लाने का प्रयत्न करें l  कोई भी स्थिति तुरंत नहीं बदली जा सकती दृष्टिगत बदलाव आने में थोड़ा समय लगता है l अगर हम किसी भी परिस्थिति को अचानक बदलने की कोशिश करें तो इसमें तो इसमें अधिक  प्रयास की आवश्यकता होगी, साथ ही शारीरिक तथा मानसिक  हानि भी होगी परन्तु यदि हम, स्वयं में सुधार लाने का प्रयास करें तो इसमें थोड़ा समय लगेगा किंतु हम स्वयं को अधिक योग्य बना सकेंगे l एक नियमित और निरंतर सुधार बहुत सारे लाभों के साथ हमारे अंदर एक बड़ा बदलाव ला सकता है l इसे एक बहुत ही साधारण से उदाहरण के द्वारा समझेंगे एक व्यक्ति है जो अपने मोटापे से परेशान है और  वह अपना वजन कम करना चाहता है जिससे कि वो स्वस्थ रह सके और आकर्षक व्यक्तित्व प्राप्त कर सके l  अब यदि वह अचानक से जिम जाना शुरू कर दे और डाइट चार्ट के अनुसार खाना शुरू कर दे, तो यह निश्चित है कि बहुत जल्दी वह अपने वजन कम करने के प्लान को त्याग देगा l कोई भी व्यक्ति जिसे रात को देर से सोने की आदत है, सुबह जल्दी नहीं उठ सकता l यदि नींद पूरी नहीं होगी, तो स्वास्थ्य पर विपरीत प्रभाव पड़ेगा l अचानक से  अपनी नियमित खुराक से कम कैलोरी लेना शुरू कर दे तो उसे कमजोरी और  आलस्य का सामना करना करना पड़ेगा, लेकिन यदि प्रत्येक सप्ताह आधे घंटे का छोटा सा बदलाव अपने  सोने के और जागने के  समय में करे , तो निश्चित ही वह कुछ महीनों में, सही समय पर सोना व जागना शुरू कर देगा l ठीक उसी प्रकार भोजन की मात्रा कम करने के स्थान पर भोजन के प्रकार में बदलाव करें l अर्थात् अधिक जंक फ़ूड के स्थान पर हरी सब्जियों का जूस , फलों का जूस और सलाद अपनी नियमित भोजन प्रणाली में शामिल करें l अकस्मात् कम की गई कैलोरी की मात्र आपके स्वास्थ्य पर प्रतिकूल प्रभाव दाल सकती है किन्तु पौष्टिक भोजन आपको उचित पोषण प्रदान करता है l अधिक व्यायाम न करें बल्कि उसके स्थान पर अपने रोजमर्रा के कम अपने हाथों से करें और नजदीकी स्थानों पर छोटे मोटे कार्यों के लिए गाड़ी के स्थान पर पैदल जाना शुरू करें l इससे न सिर्फ आपका वजन कम होगा साथ ही आप अपनी नियमित दिनचर्या के कार्यों को भी अधिक कुशलता से संपन्न कर पाएंगे l

सबकी बात सुने, किन्तु व्यवहार अपने अनुसार करें  l एक अच्छा श्रोता होना बहुत अच्छी बात है, लेकिन दूसरों से एकदम प्रभावित न हो l सही और गलत के बीच भेद करने के लिए अपने मष्तिष्क के सभी भावों का प्रयोग करें l क्या हो रहा है और वास्तव में क्या होना चाहिए के मध्य के अंतर को समझें l प्रत्येक व्यक्ति के अपना जीवन जीने के कुछ उसूल व सिद्धांत होते हैं l ये उसूल और सिद्धांत ही उसके व्यवहार और निर्णय लेने की क्षमता को निर्धारित करते हैं l किसी भी दबाव, लालच एवम बहकावे में आकर अपने सिद्धांतों को छोड़ना नहीं चाहिए l

दूसरों को अपने जीवन में उनके शब्दों और विचारों के माध्यम से जहर मत घोलने दें l अपनी जीवन यात्रा की ख़ूबसूरती की सच्चाई के साथ मजबूती से खड़े रहें उन्हें किसी के वैध करार देने की आवश्यकता नहीं है  l

आत्मनिर्भर बनिए.. दूसरों पर आश्रित होने से आप उनकी इच्छानुसार  चलने के लिए बाध्य हो जाते हैं l अपने कार्यों को निर्धारित समय में स्वयं करने की कोशिश करें l दूसरों की बजाए स्वयं से उम्मीदें बढ़ाएं l यदि आप बिना अनुरोध के किसी की सहायता कर रहे हैं तो याद रखिये ये आपकी इच्छा है l इसके बदले में वह व्यक्ति भी आपके लिए पेबैक करने को मजबूर नहीं होगा l वह उसकी इच्छा पर निर्भर होगा. ठीक वैसे ही जैसे की आपके कार्यालय में आपके द्वारा निर्धारित समय से अधिक बिताया गया समय केवल तभी आपको ओवरटाइम का हकदार बनाएगा जब उसकी मांग कार्यालय के किसी  कार्य के संपादन के लिए हो और जिसके लिए आपके अधिकारी ने आदेश दिया हो, अन्यथा आप २४ घंटे वहाँ बैठे रहिये कोई मायने नहीं रखता l

दूसरों के मामलों में अनावश्यक हस्तक्षेप न करें. दूसरों पर शासन करने की कोशिश न करें l याद रखिये, आपके पास अधिकार जमाने के लिए आपका शरीर, शासन करने के लिए आपका मष्तिष्क , नियंत्रण करने के लिए आपकी जीभ एवं निर्धारण करने के लिए आपके कर्म हैं l

 “अपने व्यक्तित्व का सम्मान करें, और दूसरों के व्यक्तित्व का भी सम्मान करें , किसी के जीवन में हस्तक्षेप न करें और किसी को भी अपने जीवन में हस्तक्षेप करने की अनुमति न दें l केवल तभी आप एक दिन आध्यात्म को प्राप्त हो सकेंगे l ”                                                                       – ओशो

 अपनी वास्तविकता का त्याग किये बिना बदलावों को स्वीकार करें – नए प्रचलन को अवश्य अपनाये किन्तु अपना चलन बरकरार रखें. मैं तो यह कहूँगी की खुद ही प्रचलन बन जाएँ , जिसे लोग अपने चलन में लायें l दूसरों से अपने आचरण में केवल सकारात्मक विचारों को ग्रहण करें l

आशावादी बने l हमेशा सकारात्मक सोचें l उम्मीद रखें कि हमारा आने वाला कल आज से बेहतर होगा l अपने आस पास उन लोगों को रखे जिनकी उपस्थिति आपको साहसी और उत्साहित रहने की प्रेरणा देती है l जो आपके अच्छे कार्यों की सराहना करते हैं , और विपत्ति में साथ नहीं छोड़ते, वही आपके असल शुभ्चितक हैं l

किसी ने खूब कहा है कि, मेरे जीवन की सबसे बड़ी गलती यह थी कि मैंने लोगों को अपने जीवन में उनकी योग्यता से अधिक स्थान दिया l

अपनी हार स्वीकार करना सीखो l खुद का मालिक बनने की दिशा में यह एक अत्यंत महत्वपूर्ण कदम है l यह कठिन है किन्तु नामुमकिन नहीं l हमारी अनुमति के बिना हमे कोई हानि नहीं पहुंचा सकता l यदि हम अपनी गलतियों को स्वीकार करना सीख लें तो आने वाले समय में , हमारे द्वारा गलतियाँ करने की सम्भावना कम हो जाएगी l

इस प्रकार हम अपने जीवन को कुछ गिनती के सालों के रूप में नहीं बल्कि एक खुशनुमा अनुभव के रूप में पायेंगे l