Generally we get lots of excitement when some big events happen in our life, such as Weddings, New Baby Born, Job Promotions, Festivals etc. But what about small things which happens daily in our life. Each big thing is a result of the execution of a series of many small thaffectionedings. Anything big takes time and more effort. Yes! these big things are valuable and precious but if you have the ability to enjoy the little things of your life , you will be more excited, more creative and more confident not only on few selected days of years but 24*7 daily.
One more interesting thing about these little – little events is that they effortlessly happens in their selves and cause no inner or outer pressures on your mind. When you start appreciating small things, the journey for the biggest achievement becomes interesting, refreshing and full of positive energy. It releases the stress and reduces the bordam arises during the time intervals of the consisting big events.
“DON’T WAIT FOR A PERFECT MOMENT, TAKE A MOMENT AND MAKE IT PERFECT.”
Actually there is no such perfect moment which can delight your heart , it all depends on your desires and priorities. Sometimes anything bigger is also not enough to give you an inner peace and that pressure to make that moment more valuable is not at all avoidable. So don’t just waste your time in waiting but create a beautiful experience and a sweet memory with each passing interval and fully enjoy the all small – big events currently running in your life.
Big things has no need to seek your attention as you are automatically affectioned to them, so keep an active eye on the small things around you in present. Observe everything and consider the best positive outcomes from them. For Example play with children. Be a child for some intense and notice the level of excitement inside you. All memories of your Childhood will start dancing in front of you and that smiling curve on your face is the real happiness you were looking for. Be great full for everything you have by thanking God every time you realize their importance.
Appreciate yourself for doing some good, new, or helping others. Appreciate your self every time for little things. For example, I never have bad intentions, I always give my best etc. Complement yourself such as How tasty food I cook waoo! Pink Color Really suits on me!
Be thankful to others when they appreciate you and help you in common activities. Complement others for their attitude, looks, qualities, performance. Admire their specific internal talent. Always take a initiative for doing something new and good. Don’t wait for others to do so.
Enjoy each and every moment of your life before it is passed away. Enjoy at least three little things daily of your life and keep their record. Enjoy the first rain drop, dancing peacock, a peace of music, singing birds, hot coffee in winters and coconut water in summer, chatting with old friends, Shopping, and everything you can. And when you will look behind , you will realize how important and big things were those.
“Don’t just look ,Observe! Don’t just swallow, Taste! Don’t just sleep, Dream! Don’t just think, Feel! Don’t Just exist, Live.”
Wisdom is the quality of using your all senses and abilities to make a sensible judgment. It is the ability of human brain, used in analyzing, categorizing and synchronizing the things to make a valuable decision . Wisdom is not God gifted but it can be build and improved by enhancing our observational power. There is always a conclusion, moral and inspiration in every observation which enables our brain to get the facts and stay calm.
“Quite people have the loudest minds.” STEPHEN HAWKING
Many of us or I can say almost all of us just see the things and avoid to go in the detailing of these happenings as we have an excuse that we have no time in this ever running life-style. luckily, I am a good Observer. In my opinion it doesn’t take much time in observation, when you have a good presence of mind, when you speak less but sees more. Be quiet but not blind. Teach your eyes to hear first only then they can see the real truth. I like to find out the logics behind any incident not reasons for that. I enjoy the detailed studying and deep traveling of the things. Sometimes people laugh at me that how deeply I examine the things, but I don’t care as I am a self aware person. Since I am quite but that does not mean I am guilty or I can’t see the truth, it only means that I am closely observing you, your expressions , your words and your acts . Yes we can not focus on many things once but we can observe many aspects of a single thing at once.
“I sit back & observe every person in my life whether we talk everyday or not. I know who motivates me & keeps it 100. I also know who talks about me & smiles in my face. I know who i can trust & who i need to keep a distance with.Whether I say anything & let you be fake, I know.”
There is a difference between looking and observing. In Looking we just see the things for a small intent but in observing we keep our scene in our memory for later thinking and deducing it into a meaningful conclusion.
How we can be a good observer?
Go in detail with your surroundings. Notice the each and every change in behavior and nature of the people, animals, birds, plants, weather etc. in your surroundings. For example notice the regular way of your office , which kind of trees are there , changes in the boardings, changes in the display of any particular departmental store. See the plantation in front of your office building, note their type, their flowering time etc. Note the dress up and behavior of your colleagues. notice their expressions whether they match with their wordings?
“I am very cautious of people whose actions don’t match their words.”
Create a link among what you see. Try to find out a connection between the things you notice before and make a decision. For example as you see a crying baby and some food item spread on the way and a dog near him. so you can get the conclusion that the child would be going with the food item and that dog started following him so he got afraid and his goods was fell down.
Be Neutral so you will never be partial. Being neutral means see the things with your point of view and consider them with fresh mind. Erase all old opinions of others regarding that particular subject. for example If we have an information that puppies of dogs bite then we can not observe them as we have a fear of being injured. So for getting out the actual truth always start with the zero.
“To observe and watch one’s own mind is something really interesting. The untrained mind will run and follow its old habit patterns. Because it has not been trained and taught,it will get lost in all kind of stories and issues. Therefore we have to train our mind. The meditation practice in Buddhism is is all about training its own mind.” – Ajahn Chah
Improve your memory. Memory can be improved by enhancing your concentration power. Do some Meditation to keep your mind calm so that you can more concentrate on the present situations. You can do some short exercises based on your presence of mind. Like when you are going outside of home try to remember that did you switch the lights off, turn the burner off, properly locked the door etc.
Remove your distractions. Distractions means the disturbing elements which are not good for your mindful observation. when you are traveling by bus or train, don’t use the headphones. Try to hear the conversation of the people, notice the difference in culture, outfits, language, of different people. Keep an active eye on the events happening around you. while watching a Movie or TV Show, don’t just watch it but try to get some learning out of it. Observe the themes and backgrounds. Costumes for different shots and props used for different songs. listen the song lyrics carefully and try to get their meaning. Think about the title if it justified the story. Try to figure out the motto of the director for that particular film or show.
Note down your all observational learnings on a notebook so you can maintain a record for future purpose. When you will become a good observer you will start enjoying all things and events around you. Try to visit some new places and make your participations in different events out of your comfort zone. Let your experience grow up. It will give you the new ways of exploring your life and the actual enjoyment of the life.
“Observation more than books and experience more than persons are the prime educators.”
Let me give you a practical example of my life. It was 2009-2010, when I and my some friends used to go BSIP Lucknow for our Summer Training during my Polytechnic studies. On the way we saw a boy around 14-15 years doing shoe polish. few minutes later an other boy of the same age came there. He put off his shirt and started shoe polishing with the first one. We all saw that and move ahead. But my mind was running as I observed both boys have same features means those were brothers. Second one was wearing a uniform of an public school, means he was just coming from his school. it was my conclusion. and here i got a learning too that is “How down to earth that boy was. He was not a bit ashamed on his profession as any known can see him there. He was laborious too.” There are so many observations of my daily life. But here my motive of telling this story is, that a small learning from your surroundings can motivate you for the biggest achievement of your life and is also helpful for keeping yourself more positive .
Millions of people saw the apple falling , but no one observed it before Newton. Be an observer to make great discoveries.
“If I could show you how awful you made me feel, you would never be able to look me in the eye again.”
The best lesson I have ever been taught is: “It’s your life; don’t stuck with other’s words.” Most of us easily get influenced by other’s words and behavior. We change our mood according to their opinions and perceptions. Is it right to change your mood, behavior, lifestyle, thought process and attitude only for others because they think its not correct. No, this is not done. We are individuals , we have our own different mindsets, thinking, views, opinions, likes , dislikes, desires , dreams, goals, choices, values, morals, principles.
Many times we got some unexpected behavior and tasks from our closed ones. Sometimes they want to act us those things which our inner voice doesn’t allow, but we do that just because we wish to make everyone happy. We don’t want to hurt them. We think if we will say no to them it will be their disrespect.
Who wish to own others or who likes to interfere in others life? The person, who is not satisfied with himself and who compares himself with others. The one who thinks, if nothing is going to be right in his life so he should disturb others. The one who cannot see someone being superior to him. The one who is not confident about his skills and abilities. The who has no self confidence. The one who has no ruling power, who cannot manage his time, relations, tasks, knowledge. The one who believes in showoff, fake personalities, temporary happiness. The one who always sees the half empty glass, and who is unknown of himself.
Explore your self. It is the first step towards self ownership. Think about your positive sides. Take a paper and pen and sit in a peaceful l place. Try to find out your interests, skills, fears, distractions and abilities. Write down these all things about everything on that paper which is running through your mind that time. Then read them and find out the ways to polish your skills, grow your abilities and overcome your fears. Only we know what our real happiness is of course.
Don’t try to change yourself but try to improve yourself. Things cannot be changed hard and fast. It takes period of time to make a visible change. If we try for a sudden change, it will take a lot of efforts and produce a state of physical and mental loss. At the same place if we create efforts to improve our self it will take some time but we shall be groomed by it. A regular and continuous improvement will make a great change in us with lots of benefits. Let’s take a very common example of being Fat to Fit. If a person is embarrass due to his overweight body and ugly look and he wants some weight loss for having an attractive look and a healthy body. He suddenly starts a Diet Plan and gym. It is damn sure that he will quit his weight losing plan as soon as possible. It is impossible to wake up early morning if you are habitat of late night sleeping. If you will not take full sleep your health will be affected in negative manner. If you suddenly start taking fewer calories than your regular diet you will face some weakness and dizziness. But if you will make a small change of half hours in your sleep timings on regular intervals of a week, after some months you will definitely start an on time sleep and never going to miss a sunrise. In same way if you will take some, fruit, juice and salads at the place of more junk food in your diet , it will positively nourish you. Don’t less the quantity off your food but change the quality or type of food you are taking. Don’t do exercise more than 1 hours but try to walk at the place of using vehicles for going the ordinary and nearby tasks. This will not only be helpful in reducing your weight but also in improving your performance in daily activities.
Listen to everyone but act according to your choice. Being a good listener is a great thing, but don’t get influenced by others. Use all senses of your brain to differentiate between the goods and the bads. Make a fine line between what is happening and what is to be happened. Every person has its own morals and principles about his life which sets the boundary of his decision making capacity and decides his behavior. Never break the principles of your life under any pressure, greed and influence.
Act according to your choice does never meant that you can do anything wrong or illegal or against humanity. Try hard to grow yourself but not to put others down.
“Stop allowing other people to dilute or poison your day with their words or opinions. Stand strong in the truth of your beauty and journey through your day without attachment to the validation of others.” – Dr Steve Maraboli
Be self dependent. Dependency forces you for acting according to others choice. Try to do your work with your hands and within time. Raise expectations from self not from others. If you are favoring someone without his concern that is your choice but if you are expecting for that favor to be returned by him is his-only choice. You can’t force him to do so. Lets us understand it with this simple example. The overtime hours in your company are valuable only when they are required by a task and approved by your boss, otherwise you can sit 24*7(beside your regular hours) in office doesn’t make any sense.
Don’t interfere in others life. Don’t try to rule others. You have your body to own, your mind to rule, your tongue to control and your actions to be judged.
“ Respect your own individuality, and respect other’s individuality, never interfere in anybody’s life and don’t allow anybody to interfere in your life. Only then one day you can grow into spirituality.” -OSHO
Adopt the changes without losing your originality. Follow the trend but maintain your own or I must say be the trend for others to follow. It is good to be flexible to adopt the changes but don’t give up your own individuality. Take only positive things in your character from others.
See the positive sides of the things. Always see the half glass full of water. Never lose hope for being better than now. Always keep your Surroundings full with those people who are supportive and encouraging for you.
“Good things happen in your life when you surround yourself with positive people.” – ROY BENNETT
“ Biggest mistake I made in my life is ….. letting people stay in my life far longer than they deserve.”- Someone
Accept your failure: It is most important step in the way of being self owner. It is hard but possible. No one can harm us without our permission. If we start admitting our faults it will become easy to make fewer mistakes than before.
“Strong people don’t put others down they lift them up.” -Michael P. Watson
“And in the end it’s not years in your life that count; it’s the life in your years.” – Abraham Lincoln